Friday, 25 July 2014

The Future.

Today, I've got to start packing. That's kind of what my life is nowadays. Moving back and forth between uni and home. Uni ending, so I get a month off to go home. I get settled. Do things. Don't really want to leave. The thing about holidays is that they always eventually end. Unfortunately, my mid-year break is about to end. I wouldn't be complaining about this if I felt like I'd done more. I had a whole six weeks off, and it feels like I did next to nothing. I mean, I know I re-did my room, but I had so many more plans.

I wanted to start working on a novel. I wanted to finish editing my friend's manuscript. I wanted to try to do some more driving lessons.

Instead, it seems like I can't even finish a short story.

I don't know. This happens every time, doesn't it? It's not even like I don't want to go back to uni - I do. I miss my friends, and I miss living in a city that's bigger. But it's like, no matter where I go, I'm going to miss someone.

That's the realities of growing up, I guess.

I always laughed when I was younger at people who were terrified of getting older. Ironically, I think  I've become one of them. I think it's because there's no stability or security in the future anymore. Again, sort of funny given how much I like to embrace change.

The difference, I think, is that when I embrace change, I know what's coming. There's no guarantee for the future. Things just aren't going to be as simple.

I realise that this post makes me sound incredibly sad. I'm not. There are some things I'd like to change, but I am happy. It's just like Emily said, I guess. I'm feeling nostalgic for now.

(I wrote this last week, but scheduled it for this week. Sorry if that's a little confusing)

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