Friday 15 February 2013

Nerves.

I'm moving out tomorrow. I keep coming back to this draft in my blogpost and writing and re-writing things that I want to say about this. But it gets caught in my throat and my head every single time.

My room is now nearly completely packed, and all I have left are my clothes and shoes. Moving out to live on your own, is actually a really scary thing. I've lived in this house for nearly ten years, and now it won't be my home.

I mean, it'll still be my home, but it won't be where I live full-time. There's a new place for that.

Don't get me wrong, I'm way excited for uni and the adventures that will come out of it, I'm just really anxious. And because anxious is something I do well, I'm a little all over the place. Questions keep popping up in my head like:

"What if nobody likes you or talks to you?"
"What if this course isn't as much a dream as you originally thought?"
"What if I miss my family?"

And I get that these are normal thoughts, but I'm just a little terrified at all the change, because honestly, change isn't something I do well. Nobody else does change well either, really, if we truly think about it.

People keep telling me that they think uni will be more my thing and that the change'll be for the better, and don't worry because 'so many other people will be in my position'. It helps a little, but mostly I'm just nervous that nothing will live up to my expectations.

So I keep trying to remind myself as I sort through my clothes that it's ok that I'm freaking out, because come tomorrow, I'll be just like 150 other people on their first day of school. Who you will happen to live with for the next year.

I'm still really nervous though.

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