Earlier this week, my brother asked me what he should do about a girl thinking he liked her. I was momentarily thrilled that he confided in me (he never, ever does that), but then I realised 'Who am I kidding? What do I know about love, or romance, or relationships?'
The most I know are from books, and movies. That's all fiction, so I can't really say I'm some sort of expert either (even though I do read/watch a lot of movies). This question my brother asked got me completely baffled.
What is love supposed to feel like? I mean, sure, people say it's when you get butterflies in your tummy, whenever you're around them. And sure, it's when you smile whenever you think of them. And hey, it's also whenever you kiss them, you feel fireworks, and sparks of energy bouncing around the room. But really, what is it like?
Is it one of those things that are subjective, like beauty? Or is it truly the same for everyone?
Sometimes, I think people feel this pressure to find love and to grasp onto it and never, ever let it go. There are so many pictures, and quotes, exclaiming in detail what love is like, and how it's brilliant, and utterly fantastic, and amazing, but how it's also hard, and difficult, and full of untimely heartbreak. Society likes to obsess over what love feels like, so if you feel something as tiny as your heart racing, it immediately whispers love in your ear.
And, admittedly, it is a big deal for us teenagers. Most of my friends have a secret desire to find love at school, and live happily ever after with their sweetheart. I would be lying if I said that wouldn't be ideal. Yet, perhaps I'm one of the few cynical romantics. Perhaps, having heartbreak would be good, be nice. Life is very much a roller coaster, and having heartbreak after a true romance, seems like something that will only make a person stronger. Obviously it isn't meant to be. I honestly believe that there is someone out there for everybody. There's seven billion bloody people in the world, there has got to be someone.
That's not to say that you should search for love, or even try to prevent it. I've only ever had one relationship, and I wouldn't even call it that. It lasted two days, and we barely talked to each other. We never had an actual date, and the most we did was hold hands. And yet, despite this, I still felt hurt. I felt like he had betrayed me. I wanted to cry. I don't know whether this changed me, but I have learnt that I shouldn't let myself get wrapped up in something trivial. The sad thing is, is that I didn't even really like the guy. But it taught me that perhaps the next time someone asks me out, I should say yes, but only if I like him as more than a friend.
The thrill of someone asking you out, the dread when you realise you may have to say no. The timid smile, and the adrenaline rushing through your veins. It's big feelings for teenagers, so of course it's going to affect us. When you're a teenager, you're going through a vulnerable time. Your morals and principles are changing. Your world is being opened up, and you realise just how tiny you are.
I've never been in love, and chances are I won't be for a while. Let's be honest here, why would anyone want to date me? Anyway, I just felt like a blog post was necessary for some odd reason.
Till next time guys,
BOOK CURRENTLY READING: Angel Arias by Marianne de Pierres
QUOTE: "Hey Jocie. Look at my hair. I'm a sunflower" - The brother.
Also, guys, I found this kind of awesome site, so if you want, go check it out: http://iwl.me/